He's Gone Pro

If you read yesterday's post about my traumatic childhood encounter with Little League, or some of my earlier posts about T-ball politics, you know by now that I am hopelessly clueless when it come to kids' sports.   The whole process mystifies me from how you find out about the different leagues, to how to get your kids on a team with their friends, to what you are supposed to bring for a snack (and why on my son's soccer team, does everyone actually bring 2 snacks to every game?  what's with the snack inflation?)  and everything in between.

So, readers, I'm turning to you with an important question today:  How do you motivate your child to become a ruthlessly competitive winning machine  in the sports world to achieve power and glory and bragging rights for their parents?  Ok, OKAY, that's not my real question (or at least I've learned not to admit it publicly).  What I meant to say was that my REAL question is:   how do you help your child to achieve their "fullest athletic potential" out there on the sports field or court or whatever?  Or, failing that, to at least try to participate in the actual sport taking place around them instead of standing in the field pretending to be, say,  an airplane or Power Ranger?

Case study for today:  my son, who is currently in a soccer league with some kindergarten buddies.   Because of my traumatic childhood encounter with Little League, I SWORE that my kids would start sports at a young age when all the other kids were just as inept as they were.  So, when Daniel was about 6 months old, we started propping him up in the soccer goal and kicking soccer balls at him to get him accustomed to the feel of the ball and toughen him up.  Just kidding, people.  Sheesh. 

But, he did play soccer starting at about age 3, and that is the truth. And swimming and ultimate cage  fighting.  So, by now, he's pretty good at soccer and he's finally graduated to playing real games.  The "trouble"  with our boy is that he's just a little too nice and too laid back (which is why we supportive parents are guiding him toward the soccer and not the ultimate cage fighting at this point).   He spends a lot of the game standing back waiting very politely for his turn with the ball (oh, and gasping for air because they are working HARD out there and it's still in the 90s here).

We tried imparting our parental wisdom to him, explaining that in soccer, you really had to try to get in there, keep working, get the ball, drive for the net, blah, blah, blah.  We'd cheer him on to "go get 'em, champ" and that sort of cutting-edge, life-coach  inspirational thing, but he continued to hang back and watch much of the game like a disinterested by-stander. 

Until a couple weeks ago, on the way to soccer, Gary said (in a move that was totally unexpected and not prescreened by me, by the way), "I'll give you $10 if you score a goal today."  Well, I could immediately see the light bulb of inspiration go on in Daniel's head, and the contract negotiations began (in fact, Daniel  may have more potential as a sports agent than an athlete).   Given that the boy had heretofore shown little interest or potential for scoring any goals, it didn't seem unreasonable when Gary agreed to pay $10 for any goal scored all season.

Well, readers, we have a changed boy on our hands.  It was a good thing that we arrived late to that first game, because within minutes of stepping onto the field, Daniel scored his first goal -- barreling down the field with a fierce, single-minded determination seen most commonly in wolverines and Mandalorian bounty hunters.  If we had arrived on-time to that game, who knows how much that day might have cost us?

 

Our most recent game was Saturday, a week after having been on a carefree, soccer-free family vacation for Fall Break.  We thought that Daniel might have forgotten the unholy bargain of money for goals.  But, upon relentlessly charging down the field to rack up his first goal, he ran over shouting "I WON TEN DOLLARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!"  That game ended up costing us another $20, even taking into account the time that Daniel was side-lined after somebody elbowed him in the eye. 

As you can see, we have obviously found the key to unlock our son's competitive drive and he is more enthusiastic about soccer than ever.  The question for you readers is whether this is a good thing or not?  Are we setting a bad precedent?  Might we end up spending all our hard-earned money on soccer goals or homeruns or slam-dunks and have to go to my son begging him for loans to buy the groceries?  Should we tell him he should be playing for "love of the game" alone?  Set a "salary cap"?  Or are we giving him valuable experience in "professional" sports?  What do you think, athletic readers?

Comments

[Juliana]

Hmmm, I'm not sure! It seems like a genius idea, but having to bum money off your soccer-goal-scoring-machine of a son might be a bummer! Since he is young, though, he might forget it after a season, but I wouldn't count on it!

I'm glad that he found it in him to be determined. :)

I enjoy reading your blog!

[Amy (amystoffel)]

If you find the answer let me know!

[Jennifer]

You know, I don't know that its bad to bribe kids, but I do think that at some point you need to set a cap on what he can earn. If he doesn't love soccer enough that he wants to do it on his own, then maybe its time to explore another sport or something so he can find somehting he loves. Good luck with this, parenting is hard!

[Lena Brandenburg]

Woohoo for earning $20! I agree with putting a cap on it, but money is a good motivator...you have to learn to speak his language, whatever it may be ;) I love the photos!

[Melissa (melmos75)]

If it's wrong, then color me guilty also! We don't quite go as high as $10, but right now my son gets .25 for each flag that he pulls in flag football. I think that it is giving him a good reason to get in there and play and eventually he will come to love the game for the game and not need that extra motivation.

[Claudi]

wow! My big boy is a big big soccer player and we have seen many boys leaving soccer because they don't love it enough and left the sport! We do much for his sport and go almost each weekend to the soccer games and help at the home games, make salad or help at the selling place, but we never never would pay him for playing good! Sorry, but I think this is not the right way to make your boy do that sport... my other boy don't like playing soccer and this is ok for us too! we don't force our boys in the sports! sorry for the open words, but this are my two cents

[Tami]

I am rolling around and can't stop laughing. When I started reading all I could picture was my oldest boy when he was 12, standing in the outfield CHEWING on his baseball glove. (as my 4 y.o. now chews on his karate belt). But he had his 'moment' when he caught a fly ball and won the game.

I don't look down on the bribe. I think it was a Dad's desperation. LOL Just be sure to focus him on how it felt to score, not just the $$.

Visiting from the DST blog train!
http://prettypixelsct.blogspot.com/

[Colleen]

Oh goodness, I can not stop laughing! LOL!

I'm stuck on this one. On one hand, it's great that you found a way to make him interested. On the other hand, bribes can backfire BIG TIME! Lol!!

My parents bribed me to learn how to count money (a BANKERS granddaughter who couldn't count money?!?! Absolutely ludicrous, LOL!). My mom would pull out a handful of change, and if I counted it correctly I got to put it in my piggy bank :)

Maybe drop the amount down and see what happens. Or wait til next season and drop the amount. $10 was a pretty high opening bid! LOL!

[Barb]

Wow! As a pretty motivated jock myself, I don't know what to think of this. I've found with our dd that she's motivated to do taekwondo, but hated soccer. She wants to play volleyball next year, but softball isn't her thing. You just need to find what they really like, I guess.

Maybe if somebody would pay me to go to TKD class tonight, I'd have more motivation. But I don't feel like going tonight.

[Kresta]

Well, now you find his motivation. I think I would try to find some way to discontinue it eventually (or else you'll go broke), but I have no idea how to go about doing that. Good luck! :)

[mary]

I don't really have an opinion other than do what you feel is right ;) I'm no help i know, LOO

[Amanda]

I think this is a good way to get your kid to finish a season they've already started and just aren't into. But if he's not motivated other than for the money, I'd find a new activity. My oldest is just not athletically inclined as we've found out so he does Cub Scouts.

[Jim]

Sports isn't about the joy of getting out and playing, that can be done by a kid in a field without 21 other kids, uniforms, balls, nets and competitions to win. Sports is about the individual working his hardest to be his best at the game and beating the other team or individual to win. I believe sports teaches many, many lessons for life - how to make an error in public and put the ball in your back pocket and go on to the next play without being afraid of failing again; how to get the hit with two out in the bottom of the 7th (Little League) to drive in the tying and winning runs = come through in the clutch without overthinking it and recall on that in future clutch moments in life, etc. . . .to promote the love of succeeding in sports I think comes from you, the parents, first - it needs to be promoted and watched and talked about at home. Any lad or lass won't be too into standing on the field if they don't understand the game. Explaining the nuances of the game to a boy while watching on TV or in the stadium makes a difference for him to "get it" when they see what's happening on the field. Even at a young age, on TV, a boy can pick up on the difference of a curve ball v. a fast ball in seeing it on the screen, then to explain why the pitcher throws it that way in that situation (the count, the batter in the box, the score, the way the fielders are positioned) and then how to throw it outside (showing him how to snap the wrist to cause the spin of the 108 stitches on the ball) and voila, the 21st century Connie Mack may emerge. Using money as a jump start is no problem, though, how many of our parents offered us a few dollars for good report cards too - and voila attorneys and doctors and more attorneys emerged, so hopefully the money incentive at this young age is merely the spark to get them to enjoy the feeling of the athletic success, as they learn what it is to look down and see their shoe prints on the knuckles of their competitors as they climb over them on the ladder of lif . . . oh, sorry, maybe a bit too much for a 6 year old . . . the point being that the money incentive is a good jump start and hopefully from him achieving the success, he'll appreciate that feeling that comes from succeeding through knowing the game and working hard to score and win, and thereby he will not need or want the money in the future - at least not from his parents!